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| Writings The home for lost thoughts, found thoughts, and a few who aren't quite sure what they are yet. | ||
Articles |
Poems |
Jokes |
| The following poems are taken from someone else unless otherwise stated. The Articles were written by me. Everything was edited by the Powerpuff Girls |
| Articles |
| Why being a girl is better than not |
| www.girlskissing.co.uk - why, just why? |
| Poems |
| Voodoo Girl - by Tim Burton |
| Jokes |
| Bloke Jokes - always the best |
| Music Jokes - you'll see |
| Being a Girl is better than being a Boy
Well, duh! We know that already! the thing that prompted me to write this article though was the way you get preferential treatment. Example 1: the guitar shop Earlier today I went to buy a guitar tuner in an unnamed shop. It cost £20 and I also wanted to buy a couple of plectrums and some batteries for said tuner - altogether it should have been £25. Here's why girls are better - I only paid £20. This is because I was doing my impression of over-the-top smiling and being all girly so the gullible assistant man gave me the batteries and the plectrums for free. happy emma. Could it have happened to a boy? Maybe but the one who was in front of me in the queue had to pay for all his stuff (including plectrums) and he was buying a guitar. So there. girls are better. Example 2: the Coffee shop Making coffee for other people all day leaves me loathing the idea of making myself coffee at the end of it. The other day i went to an unnamed coffee shop and got some hot chocolate with all the healthy trimmings of marshamllow, flake, etc. I got all the trimmings for free. Again, this could have happenned to anyone but the coffee-girl gave them to me for free. Now, either she did it because a)we're both girlies or b)she liked my smile and amazingly attractive good looks. I vote for option (a). Yet more unneeded proof being a girl is better. |
| Menfolk: Why is girls kissing so fascinating?
Why? I'm talking about this because certain close friends of mine, both of whom are of the male persausion recently pointed me in the direction of www.girlskissing.co.uk. In their own words, a site "dedicated to the art of girls kissing". Let me make it clear - I'm not anti-porn and certainly not anti-girls-kissing. But something is very wrong here - about half the girls in these pictures are clearly NOT kissing, or indeed doing anything that could even be remotely construed as erotic. "ooh! two girls lying mostly clothed on a bed!" wau! It's what happens every day at girly nights across the land! Sure, theres plenty of semi/naked girls but the one thing they all have in common sure ain't kissing - most of them seem to have been beaten with an ugly stick at a young age. Apparently though this small detail doesn't matter. I was even informed by one of these friends that quote "they don't actually have to be kissing, so long as they look like they're about to." What? That makes no sense at all! And wake up guys! it's not an uncommon thing - girls kiss all the time. We're naturally more emotional and open with our friends than you. The whole idea of having a site dedicated to this so called "art" makes me laugh, millions of guys probably think its great (it's free) but frankly if I wanted to see girls kissing I'd go kiss one myself. And I bet I could find a more attractive one then there. However, it's probably one of the only times these guys ever get to see a girl up close, never mind semi-naked and with another girl so it's probably best just to leave 'em to it. |
| Voodoo Girl Her skin is white cloth And she's all sewn apart and she has many coloured pins sticking out of her heart. She has a beautiful set of hypno disk eyes the ones that she uses to hypnotise guys. She has many different zombies who are deeply in her trance she even has a zombie who was originally from France. But she knows she has a curse on her a curse she cannot win for if someone gets too close to her the pins stick farther in. |
| Bloke Jokes | |
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Contrary to the teaching of the bible, God created Eve first. She was intelligent, beautiful and interesting.. and
had three breasts! After a few days God came to check on her and she complained that the third breast was a little uncomfy.
So God said "Okay, we'll get rid of it" and threw it away. This made Eve happy. But over the next few months Eve got
lonely seeing the other animals in pairs and she said to God "I'm lonely, I would like a man.
God said " No problem, where did we throw that useless tit?" | |
| A bloke goes into a supermarket and buys a tube of toothpaste, a frozen pizza and some pepsi. The cute checkout girl looks at him and says "single, huh?" Sarcasticly the guy sneers "How'd you guess?". "Because you're ugly!" she replies. | |
| How do you stop a bloke from drowning? - Take your foot off his head. | |
| How can you tell if a bloke is well hung? - You can't get your finger between the rope and his neck. | |
| Why can't blokes make pancakes? - Because they're usless tossers! | |
| What do you have if you've got 100 men buried up to their necks in sand? - Not enought sand. |
| Music Jokes |
| What has 8 arms and kills it's girlfriend? - Squid Vicious! |
| How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? - 1 to drop it, and 3 to "pick it up! pick it up!" |
| What do you call a punk without a girlfriend? - Homeless. |
| How many Riot Grrls does it take to change a lightbulb? - None. They order some men to do it for them. |
